A good rep who is constantly building rapport in sales knows that they must always be ready for surprises. A great one, on the other hand, uses a specific set of skills to reveal the surprises they are certain to exist.

You should be ready to question assumptions, stay open to all possibilities, and remain more flexible to deal with fluid situations. Most sales reps today still view sales or negotiation as a battle of arguments. But the truth is, sales isn’t a battle; it is an act of discovery. The objective is to uncover as much information as possible.

You need to understand what the other party actually needs and get them feeling safe enough to talk about what they really want. Sales negotiation begins with listening to the other party, validating their concerns and emotions, building trust, and creating a safety net that allows for real conversations.

What is a Mirror?

Mirroring works magic. Repeat the last couple of words (or the critical one to three words) of what someone has just said. Using mirroring encourages the other party to empathize and bond with you, keep people talking, buy some time, and eventually reveal their strategy.

The reason using a Mirror is so effective is because we fear what is different and find comfort in similarity. People will tend to elaborate on whatever they were saying. They will try to explain and give you more context about what they mean, which can be particularly useful if you are facing a person who is not the chatty-type and tends to hold their cards close to his/her chest.

To goal is to uncover as much information as possible, trying to fully understand your counterpart’s context, situation, and goals.

Only then are you ready to use the correct arguments and correctly address the pain points that truly matter to your prospective clients.

Silence is key

After you throw in a mirror, do not ruin the moment by talking. Give your counterpart a moment to react and offer you some more meaning to what they are talking about.

This is pretty much the hardest thing you could ask a sales rep, as they all love the sound of their own voice and are trained to insatiably shoot arguments at their counterparts, in the hope of convincing them of something. That’s not how it works. You are going in blind using this strategy which is why the combination of a mirror + some strategic silence is crucial in any sales conversation.

What does it look like?

  • Use a calm, deep, soft and reassuring voice
  • Start with “I’m sorry…”
  • Mirror
  • Silence, to let the mirror work its magic on your counterpart
  • Repeat

E.g. Trying to obtain a 30-day payment term with a client, if possible with direct debit. 

Client: “I am sorry, we can’t do a 30-day payment term nor direct debit, it is our policy to only accept 60-day payment terms”

SalesRep: “I’m sorry, 60 days?”

Client: “Yes, so we have time to thoroughly examine the invoice”

SalesRep: “I’m sorry, so you are saying you won’t have the time to check the invoices in the first 30 days?

Client: Actually, I’ll check with the accounting department,  but I definitely don’t want direct debit. That’s just how I do business.”

SalesRep: “Absolutely, thanks for checking with the accounting department. How would you like to receive the invoice to ensure speedy payment in order for us to keep being able to provide you with the services you expect from us? The advantage of direct debit is you never have to think about it again, and it will ease the workload on the accounting staff.”

Client: You can send it however you want”

SalesRep: “However I want?”

Client: “As a matter of fact, send them digitally, so it can be processed quicker”

2 days later the client sent an email saying:

“30-day payment term will be sufficient for us, if the workload turns out to be too high, we will consider direct debit as a payment method.”

Key Lessons

  • A good sales rep prepares, going in, to be ready for possible surprises; a great sales rep uses their skills to reveal the surprises they are certain to find.
  • Sales reps who view negotiation as a battle of arguments become overwhelmed by the voices in their head. Negotiation is not an act of battle; it’s a process of discovery. The goal is to uncover as much information as possible.
  • Mirrors work magic. Repeat the last three words (or the critical one to three words) of what someone has just said. We fear what’s different and are drawn to what’s similar. Mirroring is the art of insinuating similarity, which facilitates bonding.

Use mirrors to encourage the other side to empathize and bond with you, keep people talking, buy yourself time to regroup your thoughts, and encourage your counterparts to reveal their strategy. Building rapport in sales is no quick task, but with keen attention to detail, you will soon be on your way.