November 3, 2021

25 cold calling memes that are so relatable it’s painful

Sure, cold calling may not be our favorite thing to do as sales reps. But the fact is that, as much as we hate to admit it, cold calling works (as long as you do it right).

If you’re feeling the pressure and need to lighten the mood before your next cold calling blitz, here are 25 cold calling memes that are guaranteed to make you laugh.

1. Ready to get hurt

Yup, we’ve all been there. Rejection is a part of sales, and it’s something we all need to prepare for before we pick up the phone.

Learn how to love the no

2. SDRs in Squid Game

A lot of SDRs never make it to the finish line. SDR attrition averages 39%, and most of that is not people giving up, but people getting fired. Add to that that only 69% of companies have a path for SDRs to become an AE. It's a tough game to play. But one thing all the best SDRs have in common: they're great at following up with prospects.

3. The Monday morning cold call

If you’ve never had a cold call that sounds like this kid, you’re not in sales. Those Monday morning cold calls can be brutal.

4. Forgot something?

It was the perfect call… until you hung up without making definite next steps.

This is something you really never want to forget on a sales call. But, let’s face it, we’re all human. If you forgot to set clear next steps on the phone, make sure to send an email or a text right away and clear up the next action in your process.

To help you avoid this cold calling mishap, learn to control your sales calls better.

5. Somebody’s listening

Yup, that’s an awkward moment. But remember this—in most cases, your manager is there to help you. Act naturally, and be ready to listen to any advice or tips they give you after the call. Accepting help is one of the best ways to grow as a salesperson.

6. Would you rather...

Have you ever felt like you’d literally do anything to avoid another hour of cold calls? Then this cold calling meme will hit home.

That said, sometimes all you need is the right motivation. Check out our database of top motivational sales quotes.

7. Waiting for a callback

We all know that most voicemail messages suck. And waiting for a callback after a voicemail can be a bit lonely.

Instead, think of your voicemail as a teaser that will get the prospect interested the next time you reach out. Then, keep following up.

8. Terrible choices

Stuck between two sales tasks you dislike? This is the cold calling meme for you.

9. Bad idea

Random cold calls with generic sales pitches aren’t going to win you more business.

Instead, reach out to targeted prospects, and open the conversation with something that's actually relevant to them. Focus on your prospect. Lean into their needs and build a foundation to help them reach their goals.

10. When things escalate

In most sales situations, you shouldn’t be trying to close the deal on the first call. Instead, the goal for your cold call should be to generate interest and nail down a scheduled time to present your sales pitch.

11. The cowardly lion

This, from our friends at The Daily Sales, is a cold calling meme that’s all too true.

If you’ve ever felt a bit like the cowardly lion when getting on the phone to cold call, try using talk tracks or a cold call script to help calm your nerves and keep focused throughout the call.

12. Forgetting to update the CRM

If you're using a CRM that requires you to actually manually track your calls—then I'm sorry, but this is gonna happen to you. It happened to me way too many times—which is one of the reasons why we built our own CRM so that it automatically keeps tracks of all your calls! You spend more time making calls, and your manager has more accurate data. Wonder what that's like? Start your free Close trial!

13. The multitasker

We all know that multitasking is a sure way to end up distracted on a sales call, but somehow we still fall into this trap.

Here’s the problem: When you’re multitasking while running through cold calls, you’re putting yourself in a suboptimal state when the lead answers the phone. If you want to be at peak performance for cold calls, mute your notifications, close all tabs that aren’t part of your cold call, and focus on what you’re doing in that moment.

14. Missing contact information

If you’ve ever been handed a lead list with no contact information (or no direct phone numbers), we hear you.

Check out our list of the top B2B data providers for sales teams.

15. The fake inbound lead

It’s been said that calling new inbound leads within the first five minutes after they submit a form can increase your reach rates significantly. This is probably why.

16. One does not simply…

Ah yes, the age-old adage. Avoid pitching on your cold call, and you’ll probably get better responses. The purpose of a cold call is to schedule another call with the right person, most often a discovery call.

17. Getting ready for your cold call greeting

How many cold calls have you started like Usain Bolt off the starting line in the Olympics? Yeah, you've been rattling off that same opening line hundreds of times, but you still gotta deliver it each and every time like this is going to be the one time that matters.

Remember this fact: If you confuse prospects, you lose prospects. Speak slowly and with purpose, and then prospects will actually give you the attention you command and engage with you as a human being, rather than a semi-robotic telemarketer.

18. Cold call dialing

Want to be fancy? Get yourself a CRM with a Power Dialer (or level things up even more with a predictive dialer) and stop wasting time dialing each individual number.

19. Getting that response

The whole purpose of cold calling is to talk to your prospect. So if they don’t answer the phone, don’t try to pitch them in the voicemail.

We collected some key strategies and voicemail scripts that will help you generate more responses, check them out and get your win moment.

And while we're on the subject, did you know that humor affects response rates to your follow-up emails?

20. The scroll of truth (about cold calling)

Thought cold calling was dead? Think again: One survey found that 75% of execs are willing to book a meeting based on a cold call. These and other sales statistics prove the hard truth—cold calling is still alive and well.

21. The discount pusher

If a lead is already pushing for a discount on a cold call, that’s a warning sign. This red flag might mean the lead is going to end up becoming a tire kicker, wasting time in the sales process without ever coming to a purchase decision.

In most cases, prospects that are only interested in the cheapest option aren’t your ideal customers.

22. Cold call recipients

As a sales pro, you can spot a cold call from a mile away. But don’t hang up the phone just because you know what’s going on. Treat them like you want to be treated, and you might learn a thing or two.

23. Gatekeepers giving hope

Talking to gatekeepers can be intimidating, but there are ways to turn this conversation into something more productive. Learn our best tips for getting past gatekeepers.

24. Cold call success

This is when it’s time to celebrate! 🎉

25. Something really scary

Photo credit: Uvaro

If you’ve ever felt this way about cold calling, you’re not alone! But you can convert that fear into fearlessness with a few simple tricks.

Stop looking at cold calling memes and get on the phone!

We hope you’ve had a good laugh here, but your break is over!

Though... we wouldn't blame you if you needed a bit more comic relief, featuring CRM memes and even more sales humor.

Still lacking motivation to get on the phone? Here are some cold calling resources you can use to motivative yourself and boost your skills:

Ready to jump into your next call? If you still want some more help, watch our Cold Call Crash Course:

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Article written by

Amy Copadis

Amy is a Content Marketer at Close, researching and writing helpful content for sales teams and startups. When she's not working, you can probably find this Boston native running or reading.